Conciseness Strategies Part 2:

Strategy #5: Avoid "Nouning"

To write clearer, more concise sentences, when possible, use verbs instead of nouns.

In other words, avoid "nouning" (sometimes called verbal nouns, gerunds, nominalizations).

Helen Sword calls them "Zombie Nouns" in a piece for the New York Times:

Take an adjective (implacable) or a verb (calibrate) or even another noun (crony) and add a suffix like ity, tion or ism. You’ve created a new noun: implacability, calibration, cronyism. Sounds impressive, right?

Nouns formed from other parts of speech are called nominalizations. Academics love them; so do lawyers, bureaucrats and business writers. I call them “zombie nouns” because they cannibalize active verbs, suck the lifeblood from adjectives and substitute abstract entities for human beings:

The proliferation of nominalizations in a discursive formation may be an indication of a tendency toward pomposity and abstraction.

The sentence above contains no fewer than seven nominalizations, each formed from a verb or an adjective. Yet it fails to tell us who is doing what. When we eliminate or reanimate most of the zombie nouns (tendency becomes tend, abstraction becomes abstract) and add a human subject and some active verbs, the sentence springs back to life:

Writers who overload their sentences with nominalizations tend to sound pompous and abstract.

Only one zombie noun – the key word nominalizations – has been allowed to remain standing.

Business writing should be clear and concise, but nouning usually obscures meaning by converting verbs into nouns with the addition of suffixes like: -ant,-ent, -ion, -tion, -sion, -ence, -ance, and ing. Instead of hiding meaning within the phrase “through the consolidation of,”(who or what is doing the consolidation?) consider whether to use the verb forms “consolidated” or “consolidating.” Similarly, instead of “the inclusion of,” consider using “including,” to make the sentence clearer, more active, and vigorous.

Strategy #6: Use Action/Active Verbs

Verbs tell what a person is or does. Don't turn "does" action verbs into "is" be-verbs: be, being, been, am, is, was, and were. Action verbs energize a sentence without adding clutter.

Strategy #7: Avoid Explaining the Obvious or Giving Excess Detail

Sentences with obvious detail are wordy and insulting. Notice how this 15-word sentence can be cut to a clearer sentence of just 4 words:

If you find phrases and sentences that explain what is obvious to the reader, delete or reword them.

Strategy #8: Avoid Repetition (and Redundance!)

Writing is redundant when it repeats or presents no useful end. Look at these examples:

He shrugged his shoulders (you can only "shrug" shoulders)

The mayor sent me a free complementary ticket. (both mean "free")

The vase dropped down. ("drop" means downward – you can't drop "up")

Redundant Pairs

Many pairs of words imply each other. Finish implies complete, so the phrase completely finish is redundant in most cases. So are many other pairs of words:

Redundant Categories

Specific words imply their general categories, so we usually don't have to state both. We know that a period is a segment of time, that pink is a color, that shiny is an appearance. In each of the following phrases, the general category term can be dropped, leaving just the specific descriptive word:

Strategy #9: Write Simple One Word Verbs (When Possible)

Whenever you can, write in the present tense (avoiding will and would.) Avoid participles and modals if you can express yourself in simple tense.

Read More on Conciseness in Professional Writing

Wordiness & Redundancy, from David McMurrey, Professor and Coordinator of the Business & Technical Communications Program at Austin Community College at ACC.

Sample Sentence Revisions for Conciseness

EX1. Some sort of identification that would prove I was an FAU student was requested of me by the woman who sells tickets to exhibitions at the Ritter Art Gallery.

EX2. There is no one who is better qualified to lead the project than you.

EX3. Our office lunch order was called in by Annie Smith who is our company’s on-site qualified specialist in nutrition.

EX4. Many factors are considerations in my decision to assign extra homework that students are required to complete outside of class.

EX5. We provide assistance to high school senior students in the process of reaching a decision about where to submit applications for admission to various post-secondary institutions..