This NPR Article talks about something called the Disilusionment Phase. That is to say, the time of year where most teachers decide they can’t take it anymore. The endless pit of despair that is october and november.
And for me, that phase hit pretty hard. I am a ball of anxiety. I constantly worry I’m letting my students down. My feedback has been painfully slow. I feel as though my students aren’t engaged enough. I feel, at times, like I might not be able to do this.
That’s normal, and it never goes away. It’s like an educators version of imposter syndrome. That feeling that you’re not really sure how you got to your current position.
…This article helped show me that I’m not alone. That, for whatever reason, was more effective than any of the encouragement I recieved all year. Yes, everything is going to be okay. Yes, you might feel like a stressful mess right now. But it’s okay to cry about it. It’s okay to bitch about it, at least in private. Things suck sometimes. But you’re doing it for a reason.
Even if that reason is a paycheck and a tuition remission. Educators have to eat too, you know.